For the first time since everything with Oliver, I had confidence again. It was this indestructible feeling inside my chest where you could throw anything my way, and I felt like I could handle it. It was like I had been filled up with self-esteem. Of course, I owed a lot of that to Jack. His admiration for me made me feel special. It made me feel like I wasn’t just someone who had been kicked to the curb by my ex-boyfriend. I hate to say that he was the only cause of that, but it was kind of true. I felt important, whether it was the great sex or how he looked at me on dates when we were together. I felt like the center of his world.
On the one hand, indulging in such a feeling felt wrong. It was gluttonous in many ways. Something so good could feel so bad. This was all because I was supposed to be an independent person. After everything with all of her, how can I allow myself to fall into the arms move her bravado-filled, charismatic, chiseled, silver fox like Jack? It was a romance straight out of a soap opera. And those were never the healthy kind. At least, that’s how I saw it in my mind.
“Where’s Jack? Leo, Jack’s brother, asked me as I sat at my desk in the office. It was funny because every time I sat at the desk, I thought about our bodies exploring the one next to it.
“Jack had a business meeting across town. He’ll probably be in later today. How are you doing?”
Leo entered the room and shut the door. He and I always had an open relationship. I could talk to him about all of her. And I could talk to him about work. It never felt strange. He was a tall and lanky man who could either be super outgoing or super shy. There was never much of an in-between. I always enjoyed his energy. “Oh, okay. I know you’re aware of everything that’s going on in the news, and I don’t need to hide it from you, but I just wanted to talk to Jack about what people are saying and, you know, do some damage control.”
Leo worked in the company’s branch of Human Resources and some other departments. So, he had his hand in a little bit of everything.
“Got it. I’m sure he’ll return early. He always gets his meetings done sooner than they’re scheduled for. He’s an in-and-out type of guy.”
Leo lingered for a bit. It looked like something was troubling him. “Sounds good to me.”
On his way out, I asked, “Is something the matter?”
He stopped. “Actually, yeah. It’s weird, though. I don’t know if I should be talking to you about it. I wanted to tell my brother first. But that’s also the problem because I don’t know how he’s going to react.”
My heart started to race at what it could be. There was not a single ounce of hesitation on me, though. “Feel free to say whatever you need to. This is at my office, but my door is always open.” I couldn’t help but think about how my legs had been open in the office.
Leo sat in Jack’s chair and ran his hands over his face for a moment. “It’s not easy to be in my body. It has never been. And I want to be a woman. Telling him as my brother is the most frightening thing I have ever thought of.”
My heart was still racing. I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. “I’m so flattered that you would tell me that. Your secret is safe with me. But I hope you know that you don’t need to worry about what your brother would think of you. You know how Jack is. He’s a very open-minded individual. He would never judge you for such a thing.”
Leo wore a contemplative face. “Yeah, you’re right. You know, when our dad was around, he wasn’t really around. He was always at work. We kind of had to imagine what it was like to have a dad. We had little glimpses here and there when he could spend a few days at home. But for the most part, he was always traveling. Jack being the big brother, also took on a father-figure feel. He knew how to keep us together when everything was falling apart. And I know that he wouldn’t judge me for something like this. I guess I just don’t want to let him down.”
I nodded at that. “If I Knew Jack, he would just want you to be happy. It’s crazy because I don’t know him well, yet I feel like I do.”
“He has that ability to bring you in on short notice and really make you feel like a special person. They were holidays where we didn’t feel like a family, but at the same time, we did it all because of Jack. One Christmas, we all realized that Jack had actually bought us the gifts. And not even our dad. He went with our mom to pick them out. That meant he got the crappier gift out of all of us, not that it matters. He always put himself last. And I guess I just look at my big bro and don’t want him to think of me any less. You know, knowing everything he put himself through to make me happy in the past, I don’t know. Side note, ever since you’ve become his assistant, he has seemed a little bit happier. And I noticed you too at work together, and you guys mesh really well.”
I was so happy that he didn’t bring up Oliver. ” Thank you for that. You’ve really opened my eyes to what Jack is like outside of work.”
Of course, I had already known. But he showed me a whole different level of Jack. It only proved to me that he wasn’t only a great man. But he was also a great family man. I essentially stroke a gold mine with my little secret relationship with Jack. I didn’t know where it was going to take me. And I have been tremendously invested tremendously fast. That was somewhat worrying. Because again, I was just getting out of a terrible break-up-riddled relationship. And I didn’t know if my heart was ready for any of it. As a matter of fact, at times, it really didn’t feel like I was ready. But only time will tell. Would we continue to work? Or when I let him down in the way that Leo was afraid, he was going to as well.